2 - Family

2 – FAMILY

The fourth commandment is, “Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives to you.” (Exodus 20:12)

The first three commandments focus on God, the next seven focus on our relationships with others. There is a clear line of importance in the last six commandments, starting with killing, then adultery, stealing, lying, desiring adultery, and greed. It appears that honoring our father and mother is more important than not killing and not committing adultery and it is! It is more important to honor our parents, because if we do, there will be far less murder and adultery. ‘How so?’ you may ask. Family is where we learn to love and be loved unconditionally.

It is time to be introduced to Catholic Social Teaching. For over a hundred years popes have written encyclicals (letters to be passed around the Church) about how society should function, financially, morally, socially, industrially, and politically. These various letters have been reflected upon and a single compendium has been written by the Vatican called, ‘The compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Catholic Church’. It is a rich spiritual, and moral guide for society. We will draw out some of it’s rich insights over the coming weeks. This week we focus on family.

“The family has central importance in reference to the person. It is in this cradle of life and love that people are born and grow; when a child is conceived, society receives the gift of a new person who is called “from the innermost depths of self to communion with others and to the giving of self to others” (CSDCC 212)

We will explore these two points of communion and self-gift. These are not just ideas, but a living reality in the Trinity which is a communion of three persons living out total, unconditional self-gift to each other. The Trinity is THE reality of these ideals. This is not just a hope, but a reality that we are invited to share. This is Love. Let us now explore this in detail.

The trinity is made up of three divine persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I am about to explain something that is incomprehensible by our human understanding. But we can gain some understanding. You’ll see what I mean soon.

The Father is the origin of the Trinity. In the Nicene Creed, we say of Jesus, that he is “God from God, light from light, true God from true God, begotten not made, of one being with the Father.” Here is the bit that is incomprehensible (except in heaven),

Jesus comes from God, but is not created.

He is forever coming FROM the Father. But this coming has no start nor end. This generates, (not creates) Jesus.

The self-gift of the Father IS Jesus. To have seen Jesus is to have seen the Father. "He who has seen me [Jesus] has seen the Father" (John 14:9) Jesus

I warned you – this is deep stuff.

Within the life of Jesus, we can see the inner workings of the Trinity. We can see the Father still giving himself to Jesus and Jesus still giving himself to the Father. We can see the effects of such self gift. There are four aspects of self gift we will explore, delighting in the other, listening, serving and union. This will teach us about husband and wife, child and parent, God and us, and us and others. This will teach us about family.

FOUR ASPECTS OF SELF-GIFT

1. Delight in the other
2. Listening to the other
3. Service/submission to the other
4. Submission leads to union with the other.

THE LOVE OF THE FATHER

1. DELIGHT

At the Baptism of Jesus, the heavens opened, the Spirit of God descended upon Jesus and God the Father said, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” Another way to translate ‘in whom I am well pleased’ is ‘I put my delight in him’. This is echoed in the Old Testament when God speaks about his people, “For Zion’s sake I will not be silent, for Jerusalem’s sake I will not be quiet, until her vindication shines forth like the dawn and her victory like a burning torch. Nations shall behold your vindication, and all kings your glory; You shall be called by a new name pronounced by the mouth of the Lord. … “No more shall men call you forsaken, or your land ‘Desolate’, but you shall be called “My Delight” and your land “Espoused”. (Is 62 1-4)

The word, “My Delight” is better translated, “I put my delight in her”.

GOD PUTS HIS DELIGHT IN YOU!

This is an eternal reality that IS the very nature of God, since, God the Father’s delight IS Jesus and God loves us. God wants to put all his delight in us, through putting Jesus into us. Let me explain this practically.

Have you ever felt unloved? That deep emptiness within your soul. Don’t you want it to be filled with love?

God WANTS to fill you with his love. He wants to place his delight in you. In Baptism you are united in Jesus and become his delight. God delights in you. Even if you are the worst sinner, he wants to put his delight in you. All you have to do is accept it. To accept Jesus into your life. At Mass, God substantially puts Jesus into you, through the Eucharist. You physically receive God’s delight into your soul.

2. To listen.

“Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me,…” (John 11:41,42)

God is always listening to you. In fact you would cease to exist if he was not aware of you. He always hears your prayers, but seeks to give that which is best for you. God is perfectly responding to you in your situation as it is now. He seeks to do far more, if you but ask. He is listening to you.

To truly listen means to listen with our whole being, it is in fact a gift of self to listen with our whole being. Our mind, emotions, body. Great leaders and saints listen and give the person they are listening to their whole attention. Deep prayer is a total listening to God. St. Benedict starts his monastic rule with the word, “Listen”. In some monasteries they don’t speak often, so they can listen more to God.

The latin word for listen is the basis of the word obedience. To obey is to listen and respond.

3. To serve.

To help others is the gospel in action – the living gospel. Many saints lived by the maxim, ‘never leave a need unmet’. It was the living out of this that led them into deep holiness. When we truly listen, we deepen our delight in the person, and are better able to help the person before us. God the Father listens to our prayers and responds appropriately:

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11: 9-13)

God the Father seeks to do our will, but will only do what is best for us. To serve is a form of submission. To submit ourselves to the other. To do their will rather than ours. Submission leads to union. Jesus submits to his Father’s will rather than his own. This is clearest in the garden of Gethsame when he says, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still not my will but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) And so Jesus accepts painful crucifixion out of love for his Father and for us. He obviously loved his Dad more than his own life.

4. Union

Through service/submission, we become united. Our wills are the same, our minds are united in purpose, and our hearts become one. When we listen to God and do his will, these four steps lead to union with God. Because Jesus submitted to his Father’s will and died upon the cross, his surrender led to the resurrection. Jesus’ gift of self is completed by his ascension up to heaven, to rejoin his Dad. This union is total. Now the second person of the Trinity returns to the fullness of his Divine life in heaven, in a whole new way. Jesus is still fully human. His body is now in heaven. Physical matter in the heart of the Trinity. But he doesn’t want to keep this for himself, but sends the Holy Spirit at Pentecost to draw ‘all men to himself’. This union is the beginning of the Church, born at Pentecost.

The Father lives out these four aspects with Jesus his Son. Jesus lives out these four aspects with God his Father. This is a way to understand their union and for us to emulate it and experience it. We will now explore this same dynamic within our own family.

THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

“Honour your father and mother and all will go well with you.”

This is the only commandment with a promise. It is a fundamental truth of our relationships that we can not avoid. If we honour our father and mother, that is to delight in them we will have a far more positive outlook on life, be more trusting, and thus be far happier. This does not mean we don’t see their faults, but it does mean we love them as they are and believe they have done the best they can. At times, we may need to forgive them. For some of us, our parents may have been very bad. It is up to us to forgive them and seek to love them. This is not possible on our own – we need God’s help. Through prayer we receive the strength and love we need. We experience the perfect fatherhood of God and the perfect motherhood of Mary. Through deep prayer God heals our soul – as long as we persevere in prayer. It will become hard as the hardness in our heart, the wounds in our heart are touched by Divine Love – but persevere! Until you abide in God and God abides in you. As you forgive, you will find that you are able to forgive yourself. To know you are loved just as you are. That is why it says in the Our Father, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass us.” Love your Dad and Mum. You are so much like your parents that if you reject them, you reject yourself. Ultimately there is only one path to true peace, forgiving our parents and loving them. By loving them, we learn to love God, and by loving God, we learn to love them.

True Manhood and True Womanhood.

We discover ourselves in the sincere gift of self. “If you wish to save your life, you will loose it, but if you loose your life for my sake and the gospel’s, you will save it.” “Grace and Truth came through Jesus Christ”( Jn 1:17)

True manhood and womanhood is found in holding onto the truth and grace of Jesus. Truth without love is rigid and hard like a skeleton. Kindness without truth, has no substance and strength and leads to people following the evil whims of their heart. The two are perfectly united in Jesus who is “the way, the truth and the life” who is Love itself. In personal relationship with Jesus we receive the love we need to be kind to others and to have the strength to live out the truth today. There are some of who have poor role models for Dads, who may have been abandoned by the father figures in life. How can our image of manhood be restored? How can our self esteem be restored? Through personal relationship with Jesus, we receive the love we need and the truth we need. ‘The truth will set us free’ to be the true men and women God calls us to be. No one is deprived of the grace everyday to grow strong in ourselves. Prayer is the key. By giving ourselves to God first then to others, we grow into our true self, and our masculinity or femininity comes to fulfillment in service of God and others, through truth and love. We discover our true self loved infinitely by God.

FAQ

If family is so important, why does God call some to give up their families and follow him?

Doing God’s will is more important than family. “Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35) God’s will is that family have central importance in society. “The family, then, does not exist for society or the State, but society and the State exist for the family.” (CSDCC 214) To build up society, is to build up the family. To build up family, honor your parents.

THIS WEEK’S READINGS

Each cycle starts with Jesus predicting his passion. This time the disciples argue about being the greatest. Jesus teaches them to seek the lowest place in service. We then have a special section talking about family. We need to accept the kingdom of heaven like little children. We need to accept children like we would Jesus. Jesus invited the rich man to follow Jesus, but he did not accept Jesus as a small child, but was tied down by his possessions. Help us Jesus to follow you and accept your truth as little children.

Day 1: Second passion prediction Mk 9:30-31

Jesus was really trying to get the message through to his disciples. That’s OK, he will keep trying because he is patient. He never gives up. He will never give up on us either.

Day 2 Misunderstanding of disciples Mk 9:32-34

Instruction of disciples on service Mk 9:35-37

Jesus is gentle with them. They are afraid – why? Because they knew they were thinking the wrong thing and did not want to admit it. Jesus shows his gentleness here. He wants us to trust him and share with him our thoughts and feelings. That way he can help us and give us the guidance and grace we need. To be servant of all. That is a fulfillment of the message of this week. Jesus asks us to be servant of all, because He already is the servant of all. How can we better serve others?

Day 3 Offenses Mk 9:38-50

There is a lot in these passages about heaven and hell. The rewards and punishments.

This section also is clear about dealing with sin. We have to be as ruthless with overcoming sin as if we were to cut our own limbs off.

This section also talks of gentleness. To receive a child as receiving Jesus, about accepting others who are not against us.

We are to be salty. That means to proclaim the moral truth and the truth about Jesus. If good people stand up for what is right, society will not fall into immorality and people will live peacefully together. If we don’t there will be war.

Out of the many points covered, which is most important to you and why?

Day 4 Divorce Mk 10:1-12

This passage will be further explored next week. For now, start to reflect upon the self gift of the first person of the Trinity and the second person of the Trinity which leads to the generation of the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity. How does this compare to the self gift of husband and wife which leads to their union and the possible generation of a new person – their child.

Day 5 Christ and Little Children Mk 10:13-16

Mark 9:37 talks of receiving little children. This section talks of not preventing children to come to Jesus. Between these passages Jesus talks of marriage and being bold in society and ruthless of our own sin. Family is very important to Jesus. Receiving children is very important to Jesus. Standing up for truth in society is very important to Jesus. These are all connected. God wants us to receive children as a gift, not to kill them. Standing up for this truth in society means we are salty and some don’t like the ‘taste’ of us. Unfortunately too many have not stood up. Jesus calls us to stand up against abortion. This is hard. But this passage also gives us a way. To accept the truth of Jesus like a little child. Not just his truth, but his grace which gives us the strength to live out his way of life. To embrace Jesus fully like a little child, without reservations. There is always forgiveness for not living up to Jesus’ ideals.

Day 6 The Rich Inquirer Mk 10:17-22

God is Good. Jesus does call some to give up everything and follow him. Even today. Do not be afraid to respond to God’s call what ever it may be. What is Jesus calling you to?

Day 7 Who then can be Saved? Mk 10:23-31

If you remember, for some Jews they saw being rich a blessing from God. So when Jesus says it is hard for the rich to enter heaven, his disciples think it is harder for the poor then, so they say, “who then can be saved.” Today, we can see that it is easier for the poor to enter heaven, because they are not so distracted by wealth and seek the help of God more. We can see the truth of Jesus’ words. Having more possessions does not mean we have a better life. Life is about love. More love means a better life. People come first, not things. Family prayer should be first, family time second and then TV. Prayer before the family meal which is shared without the TV on is a good place to start. Pray for it, discuss it. What do you think?

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 Content by Robert Zaar, Cartoons by Angus Moloney. 2007

Sharebook resource from: http://opencatechesis.org/courses/mark1/4covenantlove